Bruce Schneier Facts

Bruce Schneier Fact #1: Bruce Schneier once killed a man using only linear cryptanalysis.

Bruce Schneier Fact #2 Bruce Schneier once decrypted a box of AlphaBits.

Bruce Schneier Fact #3 P = NP in Bruce Schneier’s very presence.

Bruce Schneier Fact #4 Bruce Schneier gets the jokes in the Voynich MS.

Bruce Schneier Fact #5 Bruce found a secure way to reuse a one-time pad.

Bruce Schneier Fact #6 Bruce Schneier finds collisions by banging hashes together.

Bruce Schneier Fact #7 Bruce Schneier can log into any computer just by staring down the prompt.

Bruce Schneier Fact #8 Bruce Schneier knows how to generate a digital signature. Anyone’s.

Bruce Schneier Fact #9 When Bruce Schneier does modulo arithmetic, there are no remainders. Ever.

Bruce Schneier Fact #10 Bruce Schneier taught Chuck Norris how to divide by zero as they stood silent in an elevator.

Bruce Schneier Fact #11 Bruce Schneier doesn’t use keyloggers. He’s standing right behind you.

Bruce Schneier Fact #12 The Dining Cryptographers always wait until Bruce Schneier has been served.

Bruce Schneier Fact #13 Anybody can invent a cryptosystem he cannot break himself. Except Bruce Schneier.

Bruce Schneier Fact #14 Compilers don’t warn Bruce Schneier, Bruce Schneier warns compilers.

Bruce Schneier Fact #15 When Bruce Schneier uses double ROT13 encryption, the ciphertext is totally unbreakable.

Bruce Schneier Fact #16 For Bruce Schneier, SHA-1 is merely a compression algorithm.

Bruce Schneier Fact #17 Bruce Schneier doesn’t keep secrets, they keep themselves out of fear.

Bruce Schneier Fact #18 Bruce Schneier once counted an infinite set. Backwards.

Bruce Schneier Fact #19 Bruce Schneier can conduct secure multiparty computation… on his own.

Bruce Schneier Fact #20 Bruce Schneier doesn’t have a chin under his beard, just more ciphertext.

Bruce Schneier Fact #21: Bruce Schneier writes his books by generating a random text of an appropriate length and then decrypting it.

Bruce Schneier Fact #22 There are no prime numbers. Only numbers that Bruce Schneier does not want you to factor.

Bruce Schneier Fact #23 Bruce Schneier mounts chosen-ciphertext attacks without choosing the ciphertext.

Bruce Schneier Fact #24: Every time Bruce Schneier smiles, an amateur cryptographer dies.

Bruce Schneier Fact #25: Bruce Schneier fully discloses his own vulnerabilities: none.

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